We actually went to the hospital the night before, thinking I was in labor because of the closeness of contractions I was experiencing. We had never gone into labor before because Mikey was induced. So after roaming the hallways of the labor and delivery wing, and not progressing, they sent me home. The next morning, I woke up at 7:30am, well rested and feeling what contractions are supposed to feel like. Friggin painful.
We got to the hospital around 9:45 or so. I was already dilated to a 6. So two hours later, Ben was born! Matt and I did not prepare for a natural birth (apparently looking at breathing techniques on youtube doesn’t cut it…). So right before I transitioned into active labor, I sought thy help of an epidural. The anesthesiologist showed up when I was already dilated to a 9.5. The epidural took the edge off, but by no means took the pain away. Plus I couldn’t move… so I told myself, if I made it to a 9.5 without meds, I should try for completely natural next time. (and I did with Joe!)
After a couple of pushes, this chunky (8 pounds, 11 oz), wet, crying baby was put on my chest and I laughed! There were such huge tears in my eyes. I experienced this amazingly joyful birth! Something I felt I was deprived with when I had Mikey. Ben got to stay on my, and started to nurse immediately. I was ecstatic! I was elated! I was complete! I was joyful!
My mom was in town, she came to see me in the hospital
Ben was (and is) truly a gift from God. A gift that healed my fears of birth, fears of fertility, fears of guilt, fear of not loving my children the way I wanted. God gave me a birth experience worth getting excited about. God gave me Benjamin Thomas Halbach.