October 15, 2014

Today marks the one year anniversary of my 4th child’s death. Baby Matty actually passed a couple weeks prior according to our ultrasound at 12 weeks, but we did not learn of his/her passing until October 15th, 2013.

Our angel in heaven, Matty Halbach. God's unfinished work.

Our angel in heaven, Matty Halbach. God’s unfinished work.

It’s amazing for me to look back a year from today and see how God has transformed our lives and helped us grow. It’s also amazing for me to be 9 months pregnant with our 5th child, our first girl, our baby Grace.

I am actually having quite a few contractions today and secretly hoping that I will go into labor and greet my daughter for the first time. Because you see, giving birth today would beautifully illustrate God’s goodness. One year ago I lost a child, and today, I may meet another. God makes all things new-he restores all life. He is a good and gracious God who delivers on the promise of hope.

Hope. That’s my next daughter’s name 🙂

Today, I especially pray for every mom out there who has lost her child. I can’t imagine a greater pain, a pain that our mother Mary must have experienced as she watched her only son suffer and die. Did she know this was God’s will? Did that make her pain any less real?

I pray for every father, with the difficult task of mourning his baby without knowing or experiencing him/her the way moms have.

I pray for any siblings, who longed to hold, play with and snuggle a little brother or sister.

With every flutter, this life inside my womb, my daughter Grace, reminds me of my Heavenly Father, who loves me so dearly, who knows my heart’s deepest desires, and who has restored my soul.

My cup overflows. I pray the grace God gives me, overflows to you and others, that your soul be restored.

God bless you,

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